I was buying a large bag of Purina at a local store and was in line to check out when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her no, I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time after losing 50 pounds.
She wanted to know more, so I told her that it was essentially the perfect diet, and the way it works is you load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.
Horrified, the woman asked if I ended up in the hospital because the dog food poisoned me.
Oh, no, I told her.
I was sitting in the middle of the street licking my butt when all of a sudden a car hit me.