Oh Dear!

[CakeBoy]

It is tough, to the point where Sarah says " we dont want coffee thank you can we go straight to the bill" before they even ask

I was poured a 6oz "espresso" with around 2oz of warm (not foamed) milk not so long ago from a very nice exbobar. The operator admitted having no idea what to do and declined an offer of help. It was bitter, it was horrible

[Gouezeri]

I was in Norwich "International" (flights to bristol and offshore oil platforms daily!) Airport with the folks today and Dad kindly offered to buy us all a coffee... we had the choice between a 3 group elektra (from memory) which didn't even look switched on (but then neither did the little old "dinner lady" standing in front of it! ) or a super auto... so we ended up with 3 lattes (milk can cover many sins) which tasted alright despite foam worthy of Willy Wonka ("bubbles, bubbles everywhere, and not a drop to drink")... if there was any way I could have taken that poor neglected 3 group with me, I'd have given it a good home... for about 5 seconds before being kicked out by my wife. Still, it was nice and clean, which is something I suppose

[CakeBoy]

Poor little neglected 3 group

[akallio]

I know what goes into so many of the commercial coffees, and all in all tea is just a lot harder to screw up and usually of a much higher, and more consistent standard.

Well, not here in Finland. The standard is to offer a selection of bulk tea bags in a cardboard box. In better places the box is wooden.

[GeorgeW]

Went out to a friends for lunch yesterday and after a good meal was offered coffee. Problem was the coffee I was offered were the beans I had roasted and given them about five months ago.
"You'll like this", she said, "You gave it to us so it must be good"
Now this was just after explaining that roasted beans will go stale after about a week and a half.
In respect of my supposed expertise I was asked to make the coffee and presented with a small blade pulverizer/grinder and a Mocca pot in order to do this. You can imagine what it tasted like. You can imagine what I felt like.

Tomorrow I'm going back to finish burying them in the garden.

Don't you just hate those situations? Sorry to hear about it George

It was pretty bad right enough.
The only high point was when my wife got squiffy and fell in the open door of the dishwasher.
Good as that was it wasn't enough to cheer me up.

[CakeBoy]

Hope she took the "rinse aid" in there with her!

[zapty]

Christ George, you are a nasty old man, if it wasn't so funny I'd report you to the coffee police...

[lukas]

I just had a in a little bar here which had a unused 3 group Faema E61 lingering around (yes Joris, like the one you have!)! I didn't believe it! It was just there for decoration purposes!
The coffee itself was actually not too bad, they had a LaCimbali M21, no tamper but an extension on their anfim mill. And despite it being too many ml, it had a little layer of lasting crema on top and tasted like ... a bar-we-put-much-much-robusta-in-it-so-that-they-get-crema blend. Okayish, and it at least didn't leave a bad aftertaste

[Beanie]

George before you run out of friends and/or tire from digging, next time, put a "consume before" date on your gifts

[Joris]

I just had a in a little bar here which had a unused 3 group Faema E61 lingering around (yes Joris, like the one you have!)! I didn't believe it! It was just there for decoration purposes!

Well, you have to admit.... it is a piece of art

Unfortunately I'm not fortunate enough (or do not have enough fortune?) to own a 3 group Faema E61.... mine's a 2 group.

But anywayz, the owner of a Italian Speciality shop nearby has a Faema E61 1 group stored in a box in his garage for quite some time now.... in his shop he has a prosumer machine which he uses to serve his customers. (mind you, it's not a coffee-speciality shop although he sells beans and espresso).

[nickr]

At the risk of endorsing them a bit more, where is Flat White?

[zix]

We used to have three good places in Gothenburg. Now there are four! A great place, the new one.
Of course, there are very few good places outside of the specialist coffee bars. The average restaurant "espresso" is probably better to leave standing than to drink. Bhrrrrr, not good for the mood, those cups of java.
I still bring the moka pot, the zass grinder and some fresh beans when travelling. Even if it sometimes is perceived as rude bringing the stuff out when visiting faraway friends, I usually manage to muster up some artificial keenness, going "how about we try this new coffee I came across? It´s a ... (insert origin here) and I still havent tried it. Oh, I brought the grinder also..." and coming across as a nerd is at least better than sounding like an impolite snob.

[HughF]

At the risk of endorsing them a bit more, where is Flat White?

Try here :
http://www.yell.com/ucs/HomePageAction.do

Cheers,

Hugh

[PD]

My local town has one "Coffee bar" and a few other places that sell coffee. The so called coffee bar has beans that are as black as soot and as bitter as hell . I presume this is because their customers rarely drink espressos, and so when they add milk and syrups to the other drinks it kills the taste of the muck they serve. So customers come out feeling happy that they've had a "trendy coffee in a trendy coffee bar". The image "Friends" provides has a lot to answer for.